And as for those Debbie Downers who say they can only choose three when it comes to grades, work, exercise, social life and sleep - you’ve got a leg up on them. Learning to develop interesting sleep habits, such as Restless Legs Syndrome, will be an important technique for losing weight while exerting as little effort as possible. It’s a lot like studying and exercising at the same time, except you sleep while you move. The “study” treadmills at Geisel Library are a similar example to this. The next step is to found a new club at UCSD that will revolutionize college fitness based on unconscious endurance exercises. Each bottle contains protein and 50 grams of natural sugars, which will speedily convert into insta-muscles. For breakfast, lunch and dinner, you will simply drink Naked Juice. The first step is to go on the Naked Juice diet. With this handy-dandy guide, we’ll teach you how to wrestle your body into perfect condition, with ripped muscles, bulging biceps and a visible reduction in flab. For these affairs, it’s important to be in shipshape. But as the quarter continues, you’ll begin to anticipate the upcoming Undie Run and other naked shenanigans. As a result of your surging caloric intake, you may resemble Violet Beauregarde from “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” when she expanded into a giant blueberry, sans blue skin. By now, it’s probably second nature to eat a potato chip each time you turn a page in your biology textbook. Don’t feel guilty that you’re prioritizing these duties over Weight Watchers. Studying, partying and eating late into the night are necessary and significant parts of the college experience. With classes now in full swing, it’s very easy to put our weight on the backburner - quite literally.
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